My Writings. My Thoughts.
The Concept of Home
// May 16th, 2009 // No Comments » // Ramblings
I’ve often thought about writing on my little adventure, but I haven’t really felt compelled to write about anything until now. I’ve been keeping my Twitter and Flickr updated, but the thought of typing anything over 140 characters is absolutely fatiguing. (Ahh! The thought of putting myself our there! Terrifying!)
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about home, what it is, and what it means to really be “home”. I haven’t even really been gone all that long; maybe a month? That is a blip on the enduring, yet finite map of life.
What is home? Is it a place? Is it a state of mind? Is it the people that surround you?
Being away from North Carolina has really made me think about this. NC will forever be special to me. It is where I was born and raised. A majority of my family and friends live there. It has many redeeming qualities not found anywhere else. There are a handful of people there I would love to stuff in my back pocket and take with me everywhere I go. With that being said, part of me wants to go elsewhere for a period of time.
I still need to put more thought into this whole pipe dream, but I thought I should externalize a bit of this process.
Keeping it positive one day at a time. I’m a very lucky person right now.
Life is pretty alright
// April 30th, 2009 // No Comments » // Ramblings
I am the luckiest dude ever. I’ve found a moment to reflect on my travels thus far and thought I’d share some bullet point stories from the past twenty four hours.
-Barcelona’s CD Release Show in Austin, TX
-Experiencing Cristal (realizing I can’t tell the difference)
-Reconnecting with Will Evans @ Emo’s in Austin
-Running out of gas in Iraan, TX
-Being pushed to gas station by Iraan, TX police officer
-Arriving in El Paso, TX
-Subsequently arriving at Karaoke bar in El Paso, TX
-Experiencing transvestites at aforementioned Karaoke bar in El Paso, TX
-”Stumbling across” champagne on 17th floor of hotel with view of Mexico
-Feeling guilty, paying for “stumbled across” champagne at 3AM
-Waking up and going for a run to the US/Mexico border
No complaints on my end. Looking forward to sharing stories with friends upon my return! In the meantime, here are some preliminary impressions the Barcelona guys put together, regarding me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJejmLJkukE
Check it out!
Take Refuge in Clean Living
// April 15th, 2009 // No Comments » // Ramblings
Some things are necessary to see. You may not want to see them, but they present themselves in a manner that enables one to grow and move past. Assumptions can not be made, and they do not need to be. I am on the cusp of growth and opportunity and intend to embrace that, rather than dwell. These collective experiences prepare me for a time that I know nothing about yet. Incremental steps.
One step at a time…
// April 13th, 2009 // No Comments » // Ramblings
Sitting down to write for me is a difficult process. In the time it took to write that first sentence I thought about the placement of the words, and if saying “For me, sitting down to write is a difficult process” would be more poignant and fitted in conveying what I am trying to say. I’m trying to learn just to write. I’ve found that the more often I partake in the act of writ, the easier it becomes. I constantly re-read, tweak, and try to perfect. It’s a struggle that is detrimental to the off the cusp feel I hope to achieve one day, but I’m getting there…
I tend to buy books on subjects and read about them, rather than actually doing. One I purchased focused on blogging, while another book focused on embracing and utilizing Twitter. They were interesting reads, and I do feel like I’ve gained something from reading them, but at the end of the day I question what exactly I was trying to gain from them. Very small scale, but look before I leap perhaps?
I am currently about to take one of the largest leaps I’ve ever emleaped* on. I’ve been afforded the opportunity of a life time, to travel the land and be paid to do it. This opportunity does not come without responsibility however. I will be tasked with overseeing the day in and day out of three very talented individuals, together known as Barcelona. I can not begin to express how lucky and humbled I feel to have been given this opportunity. The coming weeks will be challenging, but I feel prepared to embark on this journey. Though I feel distant at times, I know that God has a plan for me, and no matter what I do in this life, I must do it in a manner to glorify him.
I look forward to the stories, lying in wait, ready to unveil themselves in the coming weeks.
Apr 19 2009 7:00P
The Casbah w/ MAE Charlotte, North Carolina
Apr 20 2009 8:00P
Masquerade - Hell Stage w/ MAE Atlanta, Georgia
Apr 21 2009 8:00P
Orpheum w/ MAE Tampa, Florida
Apr 22 2009 8:00P
The Social w/ MAE Orlando, Florida
Apr 23 2009 7:00P
Bottletree Cafe w/ MAE Birmingham, Alabama
Apr 25 2009 8:00P
The Door w/ MAE Dallas, Texas
Apr 26 2009 8:00P
Walter’s on Washington w/ MAE Houston, Texas
Apr 28 2009 8:00P
Emo’s w/ MAE Austin, Texas
Apr 30 2009 7:30P
Launchpad w/ MAE Albuquerque, New Mexico
May 1 2009 7:30P
The Rock w/ MAE Tucson, Arizona
May 2 2009 7:00P
The Clubhouse w/ MAE Tempe, Arizona
May 5 2009 8:00P
The Loft (UC San Diego) w/ MAE La Jolla, California
May 6 2009 7:30P
Chain Reaction w/ MAE Anaheim, California
May 7 2009 8:00P
Troubadour w/ MAE West Hollywood, California
May 8 2009 8:00P
Stockton Empire Theater w/ MAE Stockton, California
May 9 2009 9:00P
Bottom of the Hill w/ MAE San Francisco, California
May 10 2009 7:30P
The Boardwalk w/ MAE Orangevale, California
May 12 2009 8:00P
Hawthorne Theatre w/ MAE Portland, Oregon
May 13 2009 7:30P
Neumos w/ MAE Seattle, Washington
May 16 2009 7:00P
Avalon Theater w/ MAE Salt Lake City, Utah
May 19 2009 8:00P
Off Broadway w/ MAE St. Louis, Missouri
May 20 2009 8:00P
Triple Rock w/ MAE Minneapolis
May 22 2009 9:00P
Magic Stick w/ MAE Detroit, Michigan
May 23 2009 7:00P
Agora Ballroom w/ MAE Cleveland, Ohio
May 24 2009 8:00P
The Tralf w/ MAE Buffalo, New York
May 26 2009 7:30P
Fletcher’s w/ MAE Baltimore, Maryland
May 27 2009 7:30P
North Star Bar w/ MAE Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
May 28 2009 8:00P
Mr Smalls Theatre w/ MAE Millvale, Pennsylvania
May 29 2009 7:00P
Blender Theater at Gramercy w/ MAE New York, New York
May 30 2009 8:00P
The Norva w/ MAE Norfolk, Virginia
See you soon!
New Theme
// April 13th, 2009 // No Comments » // Ramblings
I downloaded this new theme and now get to spend some time tinkering with it. I know it’s versatile and quite customizable, I just don’t exactly possess that skil set….yet. Let the neophyte CSS tinkering begin! Education through failure, WOO!
I took the night off, dangit!~~
// March 25th, 2009 // No Comments » // Ramblings
Another night that I should have spent looking for jobs, but I needed a night off. By writing this out I will now be able to look back in hindsight and chastise myself. *shakes fist at self*
Yeah, over it. Anyyywho, today while sitting in office land I realized I had overlooked the gem that is LiveNation with all of it’s employment opportunities. Again I’m not sure if I totally qualify for these positions, but at this point an administrative assistant type position in “music land” is far superior to working crap jobs. SO! I have laid out a new mental game plan.
I spoke about this being phase two of my job search (phase:II) . Well, I’m going to further break that into Phase II: Month 1 and Month 2. Month 1 being the month where I have a still have some savings and will continue to look for legitimate “real” jobs. AKA jobs that I am wanting to work. HOPEFULLY something will come back by that point. I just need to keep my head to the grindstone. Disregard my opening to this blog. Month 2 will be spent last ditch effort style, when funds are low, seeking that “for the sake of money” job. Dear world, let’s make month numero uno successful so we don’t resort to plan B/month2/hatelifeplan.
After watching National Geographic tonight and all the craziness that is MS13 gang activity in LA, maybe I’m not cut out for that secretary job in the ruff and tumble of that Godless town. Prior to that I watched a pottery show and vagabond hippie type thoughts of Oregon floated through my mind. The Fat Tire Ale next to me may or may not have helped to facilitate this. I mean, technically I still am waiting to hear back from that farm in Oregon.
What the hell am I going to write about when (if) I find a job? Oh yea! That’s right, music. Check out a band called Motel Motel. They did the SXSW rounds and are headed to England here shortly. I’m rusty on the wordsmithing, but with time I hope to reignite the ol’ mental work shop. With nothing being said, they are worth a cup of coffee.
http://www.myspace.com/motelmotel
The Job Hunter
// March 24th, 2009 // No Comments » // Ramblings
Well, to all of my avid readers, an update on today’s job search!
The Agency Group wrote me a nice soft blow rejection letter. They aren’t currently hiring, which is fine. At least they wrote me back.
I’m trying to take a different angle on how I’ve been approaching the job search. The past two months have been spent looking for any and everything here locally in Raleigh. This has proved unsuccessful and I’m trying to target other geographic regions based on my field of interest, entertainment. Austin, LA, NY, and Nashville have quickly risen in my field of vision.
I’ve spoken to some personal friends who have provided me with possible leads. I sent out some feelers earlier today and one of the contacts actually wrote me back. He didn’t offer a specific job, but he did offer some advice, and said I could reach out whenever I needed to. Good dude.
I definitely feel like I’ve entered stage two of my job hunt. I definitely feel a lot better about how I’m approaching things, I just have to continue to reach out on a daily basis. I’m keeping notes on who I’ve reached out to, when, and how I should follow up.
Maybe a seed will take and start to grow. Persistence I say! (Thanks Obama)
Not job related, but I am so pumped to go to the Mountains this weekend. A much needed reprieve.
Follow me on Twitter! http://twitter.com/NeedForReed
Therapeutic Sunrise
// March 23rd, 2009 // No Comments » // Ramblings
I can’t begin to describe how therapeutic watching today’s sunrise was for me. Last night I went into work to get my schedule and I apparently looked at the wrong one, causing me to get myself up this morning and come into work at 7:15. There was a reason for this happening though. I found out that my coworker Blake has been accepted to grad school in Utah for architecture. I can’t begin to tell you how happy this makes me and how it fills me with hope for myself. I’m sure I’ll reread the post I wrote below at some point, but right now I don’t want to because I know it is filled with anger and frustration. It was cathartic getting it out, but now I need to continue along a path that is going to bring positive change into my life, as well as the ones around me.
Anagnorisis
// March 22nd, 2009 // No Comments » // Ramblings
This weekend I was loaned a copy of Albert Camus’s “The Stranger”. It was a rather quick read and one passage in particular stuck out at me. It involved the main character being in prison after having commited a murder. Looking at the cell walls each and everyday he began to become acclimated to it, and he described how anyone can get used to any situation. He talked about being stuck inside a tree and having to look up at the pretty blossoms, just above his reach, and how he could probably become used to that as well. I look at my current job situation and similar sentinments pass over me.
I’m 23 years old, college educated, and I work in a coffee shop. I work at a fucking Starbucks. I was hired there three years ago with no college degree, yet I am still there. Did I become complacent somewhere along the line? Surely this is not the case. I know it is not the case. I was trying to make things work at another part time job that ends later this week. Despite bitching and moaning about it, I am so glad that I have it right now. It is going to have to be the glue right now to make other dreams possible.
More than anything, I am dealing with what my perception of success is. There is nothing at all wrong with working in the service industry. I guess I am just aware that better situations exists within the service industry, as well as outside of it, and this is where the problem arises. I possess this knowledge! Therefore I think about it, and dwell on it, and it starts to fester. I want change so bad.
For the past two months I have been actively seeking out jobs. Whatever tactics I have employed (ha!) up until this point have proven futile. Of the 15+ applications, cover letters, you name it I have sent out, I have received one in person interview. It is rather depressing and truth be told it is wearing me down. I wish job leads would write back with a simple no so I could push their crap out of my head and move onto the next lead.
I feel as if I have exhausted all possible avenues of employment in Raleigh related to entertainment or media. I’ve accepted that I’m going to have to move to find a job. There are a handful of people here that I will miss dearly.
Another problem that I am running into is that I don’t feel like I have a true skill set. If I do, it is very basic, and not specialized enough. I think I’m going to need a stroke of dumb luck and maybe someone will take a chance on me. I know I’m smart, I just haven’t had the cards fall my way as of late.
So badly I want to attribute my failures at securing a job to some larger societal force, but I really do feel it is up to the individual to embody the change they want in their lives. I need to retool what I’m doing now, and make better use of my time. There is no such thing as hypothetical priorities. Look at how you currently spend your time. Those are your priorities.
I should spend less time getting fucked up, moping around about my first world problems, and dedicate more time towards things I truly to enjoy: music, books, coffee (soon!), and most pertinenent, securing a job that will enable the aformentioned items.
Change is gradual. Stay positive.
On(un) employment
// March 3rd, 2009 // No Comments » // Ramblings
It’s funny in that “oh wait, this is my life” kind of way. Meaning, it’s not really that funny, but it is kind of interesting. Oh 23, keep dishing it out. More 4:30am’s, more soul crushing office walls, more apathy, more playing catch up. I’ll get it figured out. It’s just taking a bit and it’s kind of dishing out the downtrodden feeling more often than I’d like.
